Why We Cry

I received an email this morning asking how to get through crying at work.  I immediately related to the problem from my own issues around crying.  I could empathize with this person who reached out for a bit of advice and support.  I used to be embarrassed when I would cry in front of people-particularly people with whom I felt, at some level, insecure with or inferior to.

Over time I got quite good at controlling my tears. However, there were times and situations that would arise when I was not able to control the open/shut valve in my tear ducts. Those times were terribly shaming for me, increasing my experience of being less than, or stupid, or immature, or unprofessional...the list goes on and on.

There are physiological reasons for tears flowing from our tear ducts. The wisegeek.com blog gives a good summary:
There are many theories on why people cry emotional tears. One such is that there are proteins in tears, which are the same components in certain hormone. One of the biggest of these is prolactin, present in greater levels in women than in men. Women use prolactin in large supply when they are nursing infants, and in the first few days after having a baby, breastfeeding that baby may produce very strong emotional response as prolactin levels increase massively. Women also report feeling very calm, sleeping or spaced out during the first few weeks after a baby’s birth because of the high levels of this hormone. Not only does prolactin stimulate lactation, but it also tends to have an overall calming effect. It may be the case that prolactin, and other hormones like it are part of a mood regulation system. When we perceive physical or emotional pain, these hormones may build, and produce greater amounts of tears. Thus people cry, and this release may be calming too, helping to restore mood.
To read more go to http://www.wisegeek.com/why-do-people-cry.htm 

There is a profound purpose for our tears flowing that goes beyond the physiological reasons for 'emotional' tears:

Crying is our Soul's way of speaking to us, getting our attention. Through crying, our Soul is asking us to accept the deep inner wisdom and knowing that brings peace and abundance* to our life. If we can but listen for the words within our tears we will experience all we need to get through our current situation.

*abundance [via Old French from Latin abundantia, from abundāre to abound] : 

1. A great or plentiful amount.

2. Fullness to overflowing: "My thoughts . . . are from the abundance of my heart" (Thomas De Quincey).

3. Affluence; plentifulness

4. Benevolence

5. Plenitude of God’s goodness and spiritual gifts  

        Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © Harper Collins Publishers 1991, 1994,
        1998, 2000, 2003
6. Not just referring to having money and 'stuff' (Carolyn Faivre)

When you cry, can you hear the message within your tears? When you witness another crying, can you hear the words in their tears?  If you could, how would/could your experience be different? 

The Full Moon Effect and Water and Air Ceremony; Fire Ceremony

A lot of material has been written about Full Moon-including my own full moon posts.  There's so much information it's easy to get lost in glut of it which shows up on the Internet. Science has largely debunked any idea that the full moon (or new moon or any moon or that matter) overtly or covertly has any effect on humans. For science, what is true depends on what can be measured, analyzed and put into a statistical formula. I think it is not much different than the difficulty science has in understanding homeopathy-what happens in the proofing of a remedy. What's happening can not be measured within the current dimensions of science, but that does not mean there is no relevance or effect. As living beings we are in relationship to everything else that is alive. Being connected, we do and are effect(ed) by all that is, in however a subtle way it might be.  Some are more sensitive and more effected than others. If your are on the more effected end of the spectrum,  the simplest way to work with these energies are to pay attention to your emotions/ behaviors/physical sensations/attitudes.  A very self-supportive way to do that is in ceremony.

Water and Air Full Moon Ceremony: All that is required for this ceremony is water (set in a space which can reflect the moon's light) and your breathe. I'm lucky enough to have a hot-tub and I regularly use that for my cleansing rituals, but a large bowl of water, bathtub,  pool, lake or pond would also work. The idea is to have the moon light reflected in the water. First, do an internal cleansing by taking some time to sit with my face toward the moon and with each breathe invite the moon to illuminate (bring fullness to) all of your senses. Create an image of your breath being the vehicle which connects the earth to the moon, through your body as you breath in and out.  Your breathe  breathing in the light of the moon, imagining it flows down through your spine and with your out breath, into the earth. Continue until you feel ready to begin the next cycle of the ceremony-I usually do 7 breathing cycles, representing the 7 directions, seven embodied chakras and seven sacred sacraments-but follow your own guidance.

Next-the 'spoken' or 'verbal journal'. Say out loud tonight's date, and begin to speak, acknowledging your awareness of  what is needed to be fully in your life.  I use one breath cycle for each acknowledgement.  This is not about self-criticism or judgment, the breathing in of light is an energetic and intentional enlightenment toward change, transformation and movement in whatever form serves your life.

When done, use the moon-energized water to intentionally wash away all that interferes with your desired change.  Immerse yourself in the moon energized water (or if a bowl of water is used splash it on your face hands and feet).  Symbolically, you are now one with the moon...remembering your own cycles just as the tides of water on the earth cycle with their own ever shifting rhythm.  Being in alignment with your cycles, you can trust your movement forward.


Fire Full Moon Ceremony: I  found a clearly written full moon ceremony which works with the fire element for cleansing and releasing by Heidi Kelley on her website:  http://heidikelley.wordpress.com/law-of-attraction/full-moon-cleansing/

MIA/AWOL

So-if no one else noticed-and I know a few did because I got some inquiring and concerned emails-I noticed I have been absent from my blog--and from actively engaging with the website, facebook and twitter.  I'm just going to acknowledge my lack of presence. It has happened before, and more likely than not will happen again until I get my whole living in the present moment integrated into my way of living my life. I could make a whole book on all the excuses and realities of how I happened to disengage from both my public and private Circle of Self.  But I wont-mostly it's a 'same ol' story'.  Instead I am going to write briefly about being MIA and AWOL.  

As far as MIA 'Missing in Action',  as I reflect on the phrase, I recognize that I (the INTENTIONAL me) was not present in intending configuring and participating in and my daily life as graduations, family vacations, a bit of family/friend drama, school work, and house hunting took over much of my attention. I definitely was 'Missing Intentional Action'.  What I notice is this:  When I let go of my morning practice (even the shortened 1 minute "OMG I'm late" version) I lose my intention for my day because my alignment with my Divine happens through my morning practice. and when I don't practice, I forget that alignment and I forget my intention and I lose connection with my intuition and with the DivineOne/God.  


I have been AWOL, 'Absent With Out Leave'.  It would have been less guilt inducing to have named that I was going on hiatus rather than slip away.  I didn't plan, and my conscious self never gave me permission to just take time off.  If I had I probably would have given myself a time frame.  I would have reflected on needing or not-needing a break.  I'm having compassion for myself around this.  Having this experience and looking at it from the the perspective of Missing Intentional Action, I intend to be more proactive for myself and aware of how this behavior happens for me, my clients, and Circle of Self participants.

My question: What are the practices which help keep us intentional about our lives?

The Ricochet Effect of Holding On (AKA fear)

My experience with myself and with many people I have worked with over the years is we all stop doing what supports us and would take us in the direction our spirit and soul calls us to go.  The visual I have is that of the trapeze artist who at some point has to let go of one rope in order to take hold of the next one.  As I track my own work, I see myself stop my own counseling or coaching sessions, skip my daily spiritual practices,  sabotage my diet,  etc.  just when I am ready to reach a goal or put a decision into reality. My clients will say-oh, I'm going to take a few weeks off, I'm so busy (or whatever reason they have) just when they are lined up to grab the next bar. Unfortunately, just like the trapeze artist who fails to let go, the ricochet effect of not going on causes an even bigger set back and requires more hard work, time, energy, fear and regret and self blame than before.


Sara wrote this on her blog this morning and it so tied in with what I was musing about.  Well worth the read:   http://cowgirlzen.com/embracing-irritation

Full Moon for May will be BIG! Time for a CEREMONY!

Astronomers tell us the full moon this month will appear very large and intense. What does this mean for those of us who work with moon cycles as a guiding force in our lives?  May's energy invites us to explore our Home Element in our Collective Aspect and our Mind Element in our Personal Aspect.  May is also about listening deeply to our deep inner voice. 

I am aware in my own life of times when something gets really big and obvious before I am willing to see 'it' for what 'it' is, rather than what I want 'it' to be.  This month, ironically, HOME issues and MIND processes are deeply connected for me.  We (our family) are currently deciding where we should live in the coming year(s) and my mind is trying desperately to sort out facts from fears, old experiences from new possibilities, and struggling to determine what is wisdom from what is whim. Yes, I think I need a really big light to shine on all of this to help me see where my thoughts and beliefs are coming from and to surrender to the wisest path. 

I can use this month's larger than life Grandmother moon to support what needs to manifest for my and my family's best good by doing a simple ceremony: All that is required for this ceremony is a source for some water-I'm lucky enough to have a hot-tub that I will use for my cleansing ritual, but a large bowl of water,  pool, or lake or pond would also work. The idea is to have the moon light reflected in the water. First I do simple cleansing just by taking some time to sit with my face toward the moon and invite the moon to illuminate (bring fullness to) all my senses. I feel my connection to the earth and to the moon.  I use my breath  breathing in the light of the moon, imagining it flows down through my spine and with my out breath, into the earth.  I breathe in this way until my mind acknowledges a willingness to see and accept the best movement for my life at this moment. 

Now I do a 'verbal journal'.  I say the date, and begin to speak what I am aware of regarding my willingness and all that I see, sense and feel that impedes my stepping forward.  I use one breath cycle for each acknowledgement.  This is not about criticism or judgment, the breathing in of light is an energetic and intentional enlightenment toward change, transformation and movement.

When done, I use the moon energized water to intentionally wash away all that impedes me.  I immerse myself in the moon energized water (or if a bowl of water is used splash it on my face hands and feet).  Symbolically, I can be one with the moon.. I remember that I have my own cycles just as the tides of water on the earth.  I am in alignment with the cycles.  I can trust my movement forward. 

I was also thinking that I would set an intention for this big moon energy and light to wash over my home, removing all discord and confusion and keep our home 'light'.

I'll let you all know!

HOPE ever flowing freely from the heart/well of LOVE

There is a theme that is is so very strong in my life right now:  HOPE.  I came across a fragment of poem I had copied on a sticky note-Emily Dickinson's poem 'Hope is a thing with feathers' .  I had copied it months ago when I borrowed a colleague's office to see a client suffering with loss and grief.  There was the poem, just in time for what my client needed.  I brought it home to my own cluttered desk where it promptly disappeared, until yesterday it showed up,again.  Hope came up in a meeting on Friday, and in the readings from today's church service. I heard the word HOPE in so many venues over the last few days, I couldn't NOT notice. Then, when I opened my emails this morning, my friend Catharine had this in her morning blog: I share it with her permission. She in turn was inspired by a friend's blog, Cheap, Crappy Hope (Part 1 of 3). drkellyflanagan.com. 

allwillbewellperiod.blogspot.com

HOPE

Emily said it well

In three stanzas.

Hope is the thing with feathers.

It never stops singing.

Pretty much our hopes are small,

Always too small,

Even when we*ve glimpsed

Bigger things:

Bald eagles

Soaring in circles

High over Lake Superior;

Those same majestic birds

Roosting in trees

Along the Mississippi,

The river everyone knows and names,

Except perhaps the Nile

Or the Amazon.

We think these

May be the biggest hopes possible.

They are visible

Known

Heard

Soaring

Roosting in trees.

These are the hopes

We have seen

These are the hopes

We have heard

Those things with feathers

Singing

Soaring

Roosting in trees.

Even these feathered hopes

Thank you, Emily,

Are just

The bare beginning.

Here is Emily Dickensen's poem

"Hope" is the thing with feathers—
That perches in the soul—
And sings the tune without the words—
And never stops—at all—

And sweetest—in the Gale—is heard—
And sore must be the storm—
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm—

I've heard it in the chillest land—
And on the strangest Sea—
Yet, never, in Extremity,
It asked a crumb—of Me.

 www.poetrysociety.org/psa/poetry/poetry.../hop_is_the_thi_wit_fea/

I am grateful for this 'thing' call "hope". I am glad it is singing so loudly just now!

Fully Experiencing Full Moon Energy

My experience with this month's full moon is as if I have been jettisoned in a hundred directions. I could feel the preparatory movement happening shortly after this cycle started, and becoming very strong in the middle of the waxing moon phase. The waxing moon is connected with doing the prep work for manifesting what you are are working with in your life. I have been working simultaneously with elements of all four aspects. I didn't consciously plan it that way, but my life is moving in ways that every aspect of myself is being affected in some way (it's all good).  As the moon neared it's fullness, I could feel some fullness within myself pressing for a new opening, requiring myself to yield old ways of doing, being, and thinking.  I have yielded to changes long overdue in my personal self, and immediately, abundance and work possibilities have shifted, renew relationships opening up for me, and new things in my collective aspect are coming into form (perhaps more will be revealed about that next month). 

When everything changes all at once, and energy and life is moving very fast (like my jettisoned feeling) it can be hard to stay clear.  What are the best practices to stay present and grounded?

Spend some time in meditation, dong a centering exercise, or in prayer in the mornings to set a tone for the day.  Even if you don't have time to journal, this quiet time will remind your Self of your intentions.

Share what is going on with someone who knows how to listen, is not a naysayer, and can refrain from giving advise.  The idea is for you to get a chance to hear yourself speak your experience out loud.  You need a good listener.

Review your Vision, your intentions for this month and the months to come for your Circle of Self year.  If you can see how these changes are supporting your direction, it can be easier to stay with them, avoid sabotage and overwhelm.

I am thinking of the serenity prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.  Looking at everything happening in my life right now through that point of view, makes everything amazingly manageable!

In this season of Passover and Easter, may you be the recipient of many blessings.