This is a picture of the front of my house at 6:30 this morning: a small excavator struggling with the mud in the middle of my torn up driveway. Entrance totally blocked. Can't get in, can't get out. Feels a bit like my life at the moment. BUT... What's the truth about this scene? I'm getting a new driveway; another upgrade to my house and my life. What is true today (entrance to my house is blocked) will be different from what is true tomorrow (a great rut-free, safe, attractive driveway).
In January of 2015. I made a decision to give myself a home that nurtured and supported me (and everyone who came for a session, a visit, or to live). In February, I took a deep breath, held on tight to a trust in Divine Guidance, swallowed hard and traded prosperous dollars for a house in need of some major upgrades. In March I sat with my spouse and we came to an agreement about what was a need and what was a want-another time for a deep breath and a surrender to trust. In April, the 66 year old heating system was torn out and an entirely new ducts and system put in- a huge, life-disrupting mess. In May, lived through the skin of my house being torn off to the bones, and new insulation, siding transformed my little run-down house to a sweet cottage home another huge mess and chaos. Now, in the middle of June, mud, dirt, gravel, noise, and a bobcat stuck in the driveway. It's just a temporary glitch in the process of creating a solid and inviting entrance to my 'new' space.
I didn't know at the time made the decision to have this little house become my long term home what was It was REALLY committing to in terms of time, money and the chaos of demolition and construction. I thought about this in terms of the Moon Cycle Teaching for this month: the call for each of us Love Truth. Loving Truth has become for me two things: 1) a willingness to accept and embrace what is right in front of me (people, experiences and feelings) without judgment or fear, and 2) this accepting and embracing can only bring more Love and and more expansive Truth to my life.
I am experiencing an amazing freedom coming to this way of Loving Truth. My life these last 6 months has been a lot like the experience of turning this house into the vision I had for a home of my own. Both have been messy, glitch-filled, full of surprises, requiring flexibility, revealing unexpected blessings and unfolding in loveliness and possibility--oh and more messiness. I'm learning to be okay with messiness-it's part of the process of unfolding creation.
