Full Moon in Dark December

Today/tonight is the full moon for December's Moon Cycle.  My intention for the month has been noodling around in my mind...and out in the world.  I put in motion my intention to immerse myself in my Creative Aspect, and work with my Financial Element.  Just mentioning this at a gathering of women brought about a chorus of 'me too's'.  I felt inspired to have company and hear the willingness of these women to come together as a group and face yet one more, often debilitating issue in their/my/our life.
 
I sent an email request to a women I know who has held working groups for healthy money relationships.  I didn't hear back from her, and I used this as an excuse to not do more...waiting for a response.  My commitment noodled in my semi-conscious even though not conscious, changes about my relationship with money had taken root. I desire to have a different relationship with money--how I am with money, use money. Today, the morning of the full moon I resent my email to my colleague requesting help.  And I have two more plans as back-up and a recommended book:  "It's Not About the Money" by Brent Kessel to begin to read as I wait for the next step.

Today, on this full moon, I realize I am in charge of thoughts, words, actions...

Monotasking=Living from Divine Direction=Oneness

What I know so far:

Monotasking does not mean just doing one thing at a time, but about being and doing from a singleness of purpose.

1.  Montasking and multitasking are names for the way in which we use our energy.
2. To be a successful Monotasker requires a willingness to receive Divine Direction.
3.  Divine Direction is Spiritual Energy (thank you Richard Rohr for bringing me to this awareness).
4. Spiritual Energy cannot be managed, maneuvered or manipulated.
5. When I find myself trying to manage (people and things), maneuver the to the way I think I want things or manipulate life to my way, I am no longer in Divine Direction and I have disconnected from the Divine's freely given Spiritual Energy.
6. Breathing, paying attention and praying help me receive Divine Direction.




 

More on the Rhythm of 'One'

As I work with the idea of Mono-tasking, I share with my sister my new awareness.  I think I am developing an new concept. She tells me there is research on the ineffectiveness of multi-tasking and how we may be wired as humans to be mono-taskers.  So, while a new discovery for myself, not a brave new discovery, that will rock the world...I am quite happy to be one of the hundredth monkeys...

I've spent the past few days observing how I move through life. What helps me ground and focus, what takes me out of my centeredness?  How do I move in and out of mono-tasking?  What happens to 'me' during multi-tasking frenzy?  Do I have times of multi-tasking ease?  Hmmm?  I notice there I times when I am single-focused, as in writing, and I can stay focused and get up and change the laundry (a benefit of working from home???) and come back to my writing.  Then there are times when getting up to change the laundry leads to making more coffee, checking my email, letting the dog out... I am off and running to wherever the next awareness of the outside world takes me. How does this happen?

When I am in contact with my most inner self I am able to stay on task with my priorities.  How to do this?  All the great teachers and mystics from the past have the same messages of how to do this: Pay Attention.  Breathe.  Pray. 

I don't suppose it matters which one I start with, and this varies depending on what is happening at the time.  Sometimes I catch my breath and remember to pay attention. Sometimes what causes me to pay attention leads to a pray.  I do know that paying attention to my breathing usually leads me to a prayer (whether "Help!" or "Thanks!"). 

 Hildegard von Bingen is one of my favorite christian mystics. Over Thanksgiving,  I took some time to read a new historical novel Illuminations: A Novel of Hildegard von Bingen [Mary Sharratt]about her life.  Hildegard came to know when her life moved more easily, regardless of her difficulties or physical pain, when she aligned with her understanding of the Divine (By the way, God manifest in feminine form in her visions) and the Divine moved from the core of her physical being. 

The Circle of Self work offers a path and process for living life from our inner most self: our center, our core, our place of connection to the Divine).  My vision intention and goals for each moon cycle are a learning process about the flow of my life and my part in this flow.  I remind myself life is a process and a path of becoming.  When I am an active part of this path, when I use these tools and this support ACTIVELY a rhythm and flow emerges.  I am 'at one' with myself and the Divine. From this place of being I move from a place of single focus (mono-task) which allows for holding more and doing more and staying connected to my 'mono'.

 

Working With 'ONE' As A Path To Presence

I have always thought of myself as a great multi-tasker.  Truth is, I am most certainly a mono-tasker. I have been deluding myself for years. This is a rude awakening for me, coming to know I had been living with the illusion, or delusion of being a multi-tasker.  I came to know more of the truth of this aspect of my character when I committed myself to taking four hours of consecutive quiet and retreat time during this past week.  It didn't happen.  It didn't happen in an obvious, in my face kind of way.  It's not that I didn't get anything done, I attended to a number of things.  My attention was called to a broad array of items, nearly all legitimate and needful. What I discovered was the things I attended to were not the things I held as  my highest priorities: like four hours of personal retreat time, and two consecutive hours of writing time, daily. 

I CAN do many things at once.  The questions that come have more to do with what part of me is directing what I choose to do, and whether splitting my energy up into multiple tasks is really serving me, my life purpose or bringing me the desired balance and focus I say I am committed to.  Who really is in charge of my decision making? 

As I review my past week, I acknowledge nearly every thing I did had some value.  I didn't actually 'waste' any time AND I also didn't do ANY of what I had listed as the top three items of my priority list, either.  This is where the rub comes in.  Life throws us curve balls all the time.  The thing about curve balls is they change direction as they come toward us and we naturally shift the direction of our focus as we notice.  Suddenly, the intentions at the top of the list are out of sight and out of mind.  Shifting focus automatically shifts balance and shifts where our energy goes.  We don't choose curve balls, and they usually require some kind of attention so we don't get hit. 

As I sit here writing, I am being barraged by the onslaught of three people talking, disregarding my request to quiet writing time.  Perfect example of this kind of curve ball.  How do I manage this?  Breathe, focus inward. The distraction comes from two places that I notice:  my emotional response (aggravation and resentment) and lack of skill at mono-tasking.  Does mono-tasking takes more skill than multi-tasking...food for thought.  

Taking Time for Presence=Path to Balance

As I move through the waning phase of this 11^th moon cycle, I find myself becoming more aware of a pull toward quiet time with just myself; no distractions, no cell phone, not even a knitting project to distract me.  I am longing for some time to reconnect with myself – my deep within myself SELF.  I would call this SELF the ‘me’ which springs from the place of the inner soul on the circle of self map. From this place all the Aspects and Elements receive my attention and care. When I don’t give this SELF adequate attention, balance in the rest of my life falls off-or falls apart.  The story of Walks Tall Women relates the need for women to take time for silence and retreat on a regular basis.  It’s good to have this reminder as we enter the time before the holiday crush. 

In my spiritual practice, I honor the keeping of the Advent ritual, also reminding us to be still, to reflect, and also to stay awake, not unlike time spent in vision questing.   While I may not be able to fit in 4 days and 4 nights as I would questing.  I can find four hours this week to just be with myself.  From this place of being, I can begin to see the places where I am not at ease with my life.  I can face my self-judgments and I can allow the inner order coming from Divine Direction through my Soul to manifest more clearly.  Using the image of the Circle of Self Map as a focal point, I invite the best rhythm and balance for my life to become an ongoing presence in my life.

 

 

Releasing Old Patterns-Waning Moon

What are the old patterns I am releasing? How to release a pattern?  What is required?  I think about letting go or releasing is there a difference? For example, I keep getting caught up with words running through my mind, and yet refusing to commit them to writing.  How do I let go of whatever habit I have that keeps me from committing to my writing more fully?

I have an image of an untethered voice in my head—running wild, when I pull it in close for examination, if it is not controlled; I fear it might beat me to pieces! If I sedate it, what do I want to do with it? Examine it for????  OK.  Now I have found what is causing all the upheaval: there are external distractions (like the lion with the thorn in his foot that the mouse took out), an external irritant that I can remove.  Is that all or are there other dis-eases, in-juries, dis-orders which need attending? 

Dis-ease:  Where am I not at ease in my life?

In-juries:  Where am I judging, making rulings, giving directives, awarding damages or handing out punishments?

Dis-orders:  What has gotten out of order in my life?

Over the next few days I’ll share what I uncover as I further explore these questions. Even in the process of this explore, I come back into rhythm.

November Full Moon Musings: What Walks Tall Woman Teaches Me

As I was driving at sunset last evening, I saw the most beautiful near-full moon I think I have ever seen.  The moon seemed to be floating behind a veil of pale pink, white and lavender clouds painted by the setting sun. I experienced the beauty of this scene with awe and gratitude, and at the same time I felt a rush of panic and a flitter of anxiety course through my body.  I’ve been experiencing this particular moon cycle as rushed, jumbled, chaotic and without focus. What a contrast to last month’s focused and purposeful cycle. Now, here was the full moon and I judged myself harshly: I hadn’t accomplished anything. 

In an effort to reset and refocus, I picked up my Thirteen Clan Mothers book  (see resources)to reflect upon the lessons of the Clan Mother for this month. Walks Tall Woman…Hmmm. It seems I have been manifesting a replication of Walks Tall Woman’s initial way of being in the world-a high level of pushing energy and over activity followed by collapse and exhaustion.  So what lessons can I take from her teaching for moving through the last part of this cycle, as well as the next part of my life? Can I bring a balance to my personal expectations and my drive to achieve, with the faith of being in the present moment and being willing to listen and act according to Divine Will? Can I become aware of my own inner rhythm rather than falling prey to perfectionism and workaholism?

By taking time for myself, away from my partner, away from the pull of holiday preparations, away from all that is not priority in my life, I can achieve a state of balance. I am aware of needing to be clearer about the amount and kind of alone time I truly need. There is a balance between alone time and isolating.  I need to learn to be aware of my own physical rhythms and cycles. No longer having a menstrual flow to remind me, what is the rhythm of this wise body? In my whole-person counseling practice I walk with my clients as their guide and witness down the paths of knowledge, hope, balance and change.  In my own life, I take the same paths, and I, too, need a witness and guide for my own journey.  While I already have these guides in my life, I know I can use their skills and knowledge more fully than I have to help me manifest my life more fully.

As I move into the waning phase of this November Moon Cycle, I am not releasing new manifestations-that was last month’s journey.  I am, rather, releasing an old pattern (several old patterns) and being observant of what comes forward as a new way of being.  I am reminded in the Walks Tall Woman story that I, too, am called to lead by example.  The nature of my work in all my roles calls for this.  I can laugh at myself as well, knowing how I often lead by the example of my missteps and foibles.