As I was driving at sunset last evening, I saw the most beautiful near-full
moon I think I have ever seen. The moon
seemed to be floating behind a veil of pale pink, white and lavender clouds painted
by the setting sun. I experienced the beauty of this scene with awe and
gratitude, and at the same time I felt a rush of panic and a flitter of anxiety
course through my body. I’ve been experiencing
this particular moon cycle as rushed, jumbled, chaotic and without focus. What
a contrast to last month’s focused and purposeful cycle. Now, here was the full
moon and I judged myself harshly: I hadn’t accomplished anything.
In an effort to reset and refocus, I picked up my Thirteen Clan
Mothers book (see resources)to reflect upon the lessons of the Clan Mother for this month.
Walks Tall Woman…Hmmm. It seems I have been manifesting a replication of Walks
Tall Woman’s initial way of being in the world-a high level of pushing energy
and over activity followed by collapse and exhaustion. So what lessons can I take from her teaching
for moving through the last part of this cycle, as well as the next part of my
life? Can I bring a balance to my personal expectations and my drive to achieve,
with the faith of being in the present moment and being willing to listen and
act according to Divine Will? Can I become aware of my own inner rhythm rather
than falling prey to perfectionism and workaholism?
By taking time for myself, away from my partner, away from the pull of
holiday preparations, away from all that is not priority in my life, I can
achieve a state of balance. I am aware of needing to be clearer about the amount
and kind of alone time I truly need. There is a balance between alone time and
isolating. I need to learn to be aware
of my own physical rhythms and cycles. No longer having a menstrual flow to
remind me, what is the rhythm of this wise body? In my whole-person counseling
practice I walk with my clients as their guide and witness down the paths of
knowledge, hope, balance and change. In
my own life, I take the same paths, and I, too, need a witness and guide for my
own journey. While I already have these
guides in my life, I know I can use their skills and knowledge more fully than
I have to help me manifest my life more fully.
As I move into the waning phase of
this November Moon Cycle, I am not releasing new manifestations-that was last
month’s journey. I am, rather, releasing
an old pattern (several old patterns) and being observant of what comes forward
as a new way of being. I am reminded in
the Walks Tall Woman story that I, too, am called to lead by example. The nature of my work in all my roles calls
for this. I can laugh at myself as well,
knowing how I often lead by the example of my missteps and foibles.
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