The Phenomenon of Release: The Journey of Waning With the Moon

I’m curious to know what others experience when they release at the full moon.  Is there a different sensation of aftermath when we release/let go of those things which no longer serve us, or which hamper our growth from those times when we send out into the world a new project, intention or accomplishment? 

My usual way of being with my full moon work has been to do ceremony, be very present for the evening of the ceremony and the next morning I'm already moving on to the next thing in my life.  I am now aware my full moon energy has been more of a segmented piece in my cycle-work rather than part of a flow.  A comment from a COS participant led me to rethink how I had been doing my full moon ceremonies.  She commented it seemed to take a few days into the waning moon cycle for her to feel any shift from her full moon ceremony.  I  acnowkledged I had not taken the time to notice, instead done my usual thing of moving full steam ahead!

So this month when I finished my project on the full moon, I paid attention to the aftermath of sending my work out into the world.  First, I noticed how much I second guess myself.  I noticed how fear, anxiety andself-criticism seep into my thoughts after initial elation.  Less than 24 hours later, I start to doubt my work.  Day two, I am antsy to engage in something new to avoid thinking more about what I may or may not have done ‘good enough’.  Day three, I am grateful for a reset.  Talking with wise colleagues helps me center myself in my intention.   “Remember,” I tell myself, “you released your work to the world with a prayer.  It is out of your hands now, in God’s hands.  She will do what needs done with your efforts.”   I had ease and flow the rest of the day.

Day four:  An irritable Friday, I want to be left alone.  I have no flow of words.  It takes repeated efforts at mindfulness for me to acknowledge the underlying current of my discontent, and speak about it.  I am grateful I can stay centered, even when there is no resolution.  But still, no writing comes.  I’m glad for the distraction of my grandchildren.

Saturday, day five:  Is this the energy of the waning moon I notice?  This is a new feeling.  What I have released, sent out into the world also takes me out into the world a bit more as well.  I feel my willingness to continue on.  Despite distractions in the day, trips to the mall, playing with grand-girls and calls to multi-task, my writing self is with me all day.  I will start to carry a little notebook to jot down writing thoughts coming through me.  I don’t feel antsy or irritable about not beng home with access to my computer.  I 'm okay a bit of me is released into the world as well as my project.  In releasing, I have become fuller and more of my Self.  I filled pages and pages on rhythm and cycles, this morning. In the days to come I will edit them and perhaps a chapter will begin to emerge.  I am thinking about starting on the book proposal.  Already I am preparing for the next gestation. I will watch and listen and respond.  I am just at the threshold of understanding the power in the waning moon.