Releasing Old Patterns-Waning Moon

What are the old patterns I am releasing? How to release a pattern?  What is required?  I think about letting go or releasing is there a difference? For example, I keep getting caught up with words running through my mind, and yet refusing to commit them to writing.  How do I let go of whatever habit I have that keeps me from committing to my writing more fully?

I have an image of an untethered voice in my head—running wild, when I pull it in close for examination, if it is not controlled; I fear it might beat me to pieces! If I sedate it, what do I want to do with it? Examine it for????  OK.  Now I have found what is causing all the upheaval: there are external distractions (like the lion with the thorn in his foot that the mouse took out), an external irritant that I can remove.  Is that all or are there other dis-eases, in-juries, dis-orders which need attending? 

Dis-ease:  Where am I not at ease in my life?

In-juries:  Where am I judging, making rulings, giving directives, awarding damages or handing out punishments?

Dis-orders:  What has gotten out of order in my life?

Over the next few days I’ll share what I uncover as I further explore these questions. Even in the process of this explore, I come back into rhythm.

November Full Moon Musings: What Walks Tall Woman Teaches Me

As I was driving at sunset last evening, I saw the most beautiful near-full moon I think I have ever seen.  The moon seemed to be floating behind a veil of pale pink, white and lavender clouds painted by the setting sun. I experienced the beauty of this scene with awe and gratitude, and at the same time I felt a rush of panic and a flitter of anxiety course through my body.  I’ve been experiencing this particular moon cycle as rushed, jumbled, chaotic and without focus. What a contrast to last month’s focused and purposeful cycle. Now, here was the full moon and I judged myself harshly: I hadn’t accomplished anything. 

In an effort to reset and refocus, I picked up my Thirteen Clan Mothers book  (see resources)to reflect upon the lessons of the Clan Mother for this month. Walks Tall Woman…Hmmm. It seems I have been manifesting a replication of Walks Tall Woman’s initial way of being in the world-a high level of pushing energy and over activity followed by collapse and exhaustion.  So what lessons can I take from her teaching for moving through the last part of this cycle, as well as the next part of my life? Can I bring a balance to my personal expectations and my drive to achieve, with the faith of being in the present moment and being willing to listen and act according to Divine Will? Can I become aware of my own inner rhythm rather than falling prey to perfectionism and workaholism?

By taking time for myself, away from my partner, away from the pull of holiday preparations, away from all that is not priority in my life, I can achieve a state of balance. I am aware of needing to be clearer about the amount and kind of alone time I truly need. There is a balance between alone time and isolating.  I need to learn to be aware of my own physical rhythms and cycles. No longer having a menstrual flow to remind me, what is the rhythm of this wise body? In my whole-person counseling practice I walk with my clients as their guide and witness down the paths of knowledge, hope, balance and change.  In my own life, I take the same paths, and I, too, need a witness and guide for my own journey.  While I already have these guides in my life, I know I can use their skills and knowledge more fully than I have to help me manifest my life more fully.

As I move into the waning phase of this November Moon Cycle, I am not releasing new manifestations-that was last month’s journey.  I am, rather, releasing an old pattern (several old patterns) and being observant of what comes forward as a new way of being.  I am reminded in the Walks Tall Woman story that I, too, am called to lead by example.  The nature of my work in all my roles calls for this.  I can laugh at myself as well, knowing how I often lead by the example of my missteps and foibles.

Rhythms and the Return of Discipline

I've taken a ten day hiatus from blogging.  Not consciously on purpose, but rather by getting off track from my focused priorities, from slipping out of the rhythm I had been nicely flowing in for the past two months. 

Traveling can shift us out of our rhythm; so can holidays, or crises. But mostly, we get out of our rhythms by taking our attention off our priorities.  At least that is how I do it. Hind-sight allows for good analysis of what is going on under the surface of slipping out of focus for me. I'm starting to see the results of my focused intention and behaviors. Goals are coming into sight-with good probabilities of coming to fruition.  Change is happening faster than planned.  My beliefs about myself are shifting. I've come up against another cycle of being called to look myself in my heart and in my soul and my mind and see where I need to make more changes, come to a deeper level of honesty and give up more bad habits.  I saw how I gradually let go my exercise routine, went on a sugar binge (%$*&>!# candy corn!), started sleeping in too long so I missed my morning writing time.

I'm traveling tomorrow.  I could take this as another excuse to stay out of rhythm and commitment. I'm off to my sister's for the Thanksgiving Holiday. I'm fortunate because she's the kind of sister who will give me a little nudge and walk beside me for a few steps and I'll be back in my rhythm in no time!

Blessings and gratitude to you all;

Defining Rhythms and Cycles

Rhythms and Cycles happen, with or without our awareness.  We are affected by the rhythms and cycles in our life with or without our awareness as well.  There is a simple formula to explain the relationship between awareness level and effect of a cycle’s rhythm.  Cycles have rhythms within them.  There may also be rhythms without cycles. 

Some rhythms which don’t necessarily have a particular cycle:

Heartbeat

Bee buzz

Electric motor

White noise machine

Drum beat

Metronome

Pulse

Humming bird

I was thinking about places where there are cycles without rhythms.  I could only think of man- made things like the washing machine. 

Then there are rhythms within cycles, like breathing and menstruation, bio-rhythms and circadian rhythms, and of course the moon. 

Example of why it is important to live in sync with the rhythms and cycles of our life: When there is a rip-tide at the beach, there are specific directions for survival if one should be caught one in a riptide.  Swimming with the rhythm of the current can save our life; fighting the current guarantees exhaustion at a minimum or death at worst.

In Circle of Self^® the working with moon cycles instructs us on living in the rhythm of life. First we notice and become aware of the moon’s cycle.  Next, we align ourselves with the moon’s cycles by our intention of focus for our chosen Aspect/Element. Third, we sync our practice with the cycles of the moon.  Over-time, the rhythm of the cycles begin to move our intentions alignment, syncing. 

Becoming aware of the movement in the waning days of the cycle of the moon, I became aware of the deeper aspects and potential of using  Moon Cycles as a support for living our life.  Definitely more to come!

I Hate the Time Change/ Disruptions in Rhythm

Five days into the falling-back time change:  I’m still not back in my rhythm.  I hate the early darkness and the earlier light.  I hate the time change in the spring, too.  Both disrupt my rhythm.  Both are manmade manipulations of time.  But I am REALLY HATING this one!

When I sit with my reaction to the time change, I am frankly surprised:  resentment, anger, frustration.  I feel like I am a victim with no recourse or way to manage what is happening. This arbitrary, out dated, imposed adjustment of the clock infuriates me. 

I began writing this blog post on Monday, noticed what seemed an unreasonably strong reaction, so I set it aside to simmer-down for a day or so.  Now, on Wednesday, I’m still grumbling, still feeling exhausted and out of my rhythm.  Being out of my rhythm underlies my feelings.  There was a comfort in writing in the early morning darkness of the past couple of months.  Now, the morning is star is gone from sight when I get up and my writing rhythm seems gone from access as well. Antsy and irritable are my primary feelings.  I can’t change the time change and I have no serenity about it.  And the more I write the madder I get.

Underneath:  With the time change I became disconnected from a rhythm which was supporting me.  By using what Gabriele Lusser Rico refers to as ‘clustering’ in her book ‘Writing the Natural Way’  (I call it spider-webbing) I diagram what is connected to ‘disruption of rhythm’.  With just a few words I know what is underlying my disconnection:  the time change is a stand-in for other things in my life that are challenging my commitment to writing.  My doing things differently is a hard adjustment for my spouse.  It is easier to be upset with the time-change than with his sometimes not so subtle push and pull at my change in behavior (getting up earlier and spending more time in my work).  How much space is there in my rhythm to negotiate multiple needs without losing myself, my intentions, my goals, my needs?  

This reminds me of the best-selling inspirational book: ‘Who Moved My Cheese?’ Spencer Johnson (1998).

 

 

 

 

Updating Waning Post

Multi-tasking and editing don't work together very well!  Will I need this lesson multiple times to understand,  or can I accept my self-editing will always have some amount of imperfection?  I didn't see my post on the waning moon until it came through my I-phone yesterday morning. What ever cycle google sets up, it doesn't matter if I publish the afternoon of one day, if you're on the email list, it gets sent out about 5:30 the next morning.  Another reminder of how little control we really have outside of ourselves!

When editing my post, my 4 year old granddaughter was sitting on my lap wanting to write as well.  Her enthusiasm results in pages of paper taped all over her parents' house covered in reversed lettering!  I certainly don't want to discouraged her passion.    She watched my typing, asking questions and wanting to tap the keys herself.  The end result: my waning was occasionally waxing!  Sorry.  'Wax on wax off' as Miyagi in Karate Kid says.  Oh,  he also says, "Don't forget to breathe, very important".

 

The Phenomenon of Release: The Journey of Waning With the Moon

I’m curious to know what others experience when they release at the full moon.  Is there a different sensation of aftermath when we release/let go of those things which no longer serve us, or which hamper our growth from those times when we send out into the world a new project, intention or accomplishment? 

My usual way of being with my full moon work has been to do ceremony, be very present for the evening of the ceremony and the next morning I'm already moving on to the next thing in my life.  I am now aware my full moon energy has been more of a segmented piece in my cycle-work rather than part of a flow.  A comment from a COS participant led me to rethink how I had been doing my full moon ceremonies.  She commented it seemed to take a few days into the waning moon cycle for her to feel any shift from her full moon ceremony.  I  acnowkledged I had not taken the time to notice, instead done my usual thing of moving full steam ahead!

So this month when I finished my project on the full moon, I paid attention to the aftermath of sending my work out into the world.  First, I noticed how much I second guess myself.  I noticed how fear, anxiety andself-criticism seep into my thoughts after initial elation.  Less than 24 hours later, I start to doubt my work.  Day two, I am antsy to engage in something new to avoid thinking more about what I may or may not have done ‘good enough’.  Day three, I am grateful for a reset.  Talking with wise colleagues helps me center myself in my intention.   “Remember,” I tell myself, “you released your work to the world with a prayer.  It is out of your hands now, in God’s hands.  She will do what needs done with your efforts.”   I had ease and flow the rest of the day.

Day four:  An irritable Friday, I want to be left alone.  I have no flow of words.  It takes repeated efforts at mindfulness for me to acknowledge the underlying current of my discontent, and speak about it.  I am grateful I can stay centered, even when there is no resolution.  But still, no writing comes.  I’m glad for the distraction of my grandchildren.

Saturday, day five:  Is this the energy of the waning moon I notice?  This is a new feeling.  What I have released, sent out into the world also takes me out into the world a bit more as well.  I feel my willingness to continue on.  Despite distractions in the day, trips to the mall, playing with grand-girls and calls to multi-task, my writing self is with me all day.  I will start to carry a little notebook to jot down writing thoughts coming through me.  I don’t feel antsy or irritable about not beng home with access to my computer.  I 'm okay a bit of me is released into the world as well as my project.  In releasing, I have become fuller and more of my Self.  I filled pages and pages on rhythm and cycles, this morning. In the days to come I will edit them and perhaps a chapter will begin to emerge.  I am thinking about starting on the book proposal.  Already I am preparing for the next gestation. I will watch and listen and respond.  I am just at the threshold of understanding the power in the waning moon.

The blessing of welcoming women

Today was a day surrounded by women!  My life has transitioned from a lot of alone time to being surrounded by all kinds of women. Beginning at 7 with an early morning meeting surrounded by six women, solving problems, sharing stories.  Two phone calls, a friend and a sister entertained me on my way to breakfast with a new writer friend.  Both the breakfast and the conversation nourished me well.  This would have been enough for the day, but the blessings of women just kept flowing. 

When I arrived home, my daughter was there waiting; a quick trip home from college, coming to get some counsel, hugs and of course a little money!  A few sessions with women clients who honor me in sharing their journeys with me, off to see my spiritual director who is helping me write my spiritual life/  Then Pilate's class with a good friend and two caring teachers, and dinner with a friend.  I get home and here are emails waiting to be read, from women I love.  What a rare day to have so many women touch my life in one day and me touch their lives. I am so grateful, feel so blessed. 

There is a change in me, I think, that has brought more women into my life-or invited the women in my life to come closer.  A good part of it has to do with my intention to make myself available for connection.  Another is developing a willingness to reach out of my comfort zone and ask for connection, and invite connection.  I am also more willing to ask for help, which invites connection.  There is something special about gathering women together.  Wisdom starts to flow when we connect with one another, and ideas too.  That happened today, I'm satisfied, but I do want more!