Daily Reviews - The Public and Private versions

Today seemed to be a day of some form of daily review everywhere I turned.  My early morning meeting invited all present to consider our willingness to allow others to know, by our willingness to share with them, our difficulties, and egregious behaviors from our past, as well as our current life struggles.  A friend had to face an employer about and acknowledge her part in as unfortunate incident that could threaten her job.  Two clients shared litanies of self-judgment.  Another had a litany of  grievances about others. I bared my own soul with a person I love, and ended up feeling misunderstood and my feelings rejected. 

Then there was the presidential debate tonight-a really public review; not a daily review but a value review, a success review, an attitude review etc., etc.  What a contrast from the personal sharing and struggles, from the rest of the sharing I experienced today.  I recognize I might be stretching the comparison.  But, while I was listening to spin after spin and accusation followed by blown up grandiose iteration, I began to feel exhausted by the whole distorted process, like a house of mirrors in a fun house-only this is our country and it's not very funny.  So when I went into my study to reflect on my day, I started with the awareness of how many times today, in meetings, with friends, clients, my own counseling session, sharing with a loved one-there was an invitation to see ourselves and others more clearly and honestly, and to allow ourselves to be seen more clearly and honestly, regardless of the outcome.

We must start from the state of being we are in, whether that is a place of self-blame and self-judgment, of pointing the finger at the other guy, or sharing from a humility and regret.  That is a beginning, and from there we take small steps toward more honestly, less blame, more acceptance, less condemnation, more possibility, more hope, more balance in our life and more change.

As my daughter said when she was in second grade and our family was going through divorce shortly after 9-11:  "Mom, how can we have peace on earth if we can't even stop the fighting in our own family.  She is right of course-out of the mouths of babes...I do hope I have made some progress!  I do hope I am able to support others in their progress.  I'm glad I'm not Candy Crowley, the moderator of the debate.