Circling Back to Choose a New Way

Every once in a while I get a chance to do some supportive work with someone who reminds me of my own life experiences.  This seems to be a theme this week-revisiting memories and history. This dear person's current experience is serving as a mirror for some events in my life, just like the mirror in the Circle of Self logo.  We may not be able to alter the reflection, but we can alter how we interpret it and judge it.
Today, I choose to look at my habit for running myself into the ground in an effort to avoid changing what needs to be changed in my life.  A poignant message as it comes on the heals of my revisiting history yesterday!  How often I have put off and/or tried to negotiate with myself to not make a necessary change in my life.  What usually happens is the consequences of NOT making the change-get bigger, more damaging, more painful, more destructive and more costly. Everything suffers.  Physical health, ability to do my work, emotions, relationships. I don't like admitting I am in over my head, or wrong, or that I need or want something that is at odds with others wishes. 
I will try everything to keep status duo.  I'm getting better and sometimes I can avoid the saboteur and sometimes I don't.  The blessing in all of this is that once 'the bad thing happens'  the energy starts flowing and I am moving again.  Moving which can still be terrifying, painful, grieful, agonizing.  Moving which brings growth and new ideas and new opportunities.