More "I-isms" and the challenge of change

We are halfway through the waxing moon of this wonderful harvest moon cycle.  I do love this month. October brings with it so many memories of harvest time on the farm where I grew up.  I know for many the approaching longer and colder nights, lack of sun and isolation that often comes with the approaching winter harbors depression. But, I'm  invigorated by this season of year, and year seems especially invigorating-and intense. My Circle of Self process for this month is focused on the Creative Aspect, with pieces of my intention in each of the four elements: work/career, philanthropy, leisure and financial.  There is an intensity to my process this month because I am challenging myself to step considerably out of my comfort zone in a number of ways in this Aspect. If this sounds mysterious, I'll fill you in at the dark of the moon!

It's not surprising then, stepping out of my comfort zone, I should be made aware of all the 'I' words.I am noticing my thoughts and reactions.  My psychological, physical and emotional senses are very keen right now, and I find my self jarred by the intensity of both the world around me (mostly the people) and my responses.  If I am challenging myself to be more of who I am, it makes sense that I would be particularly aware of insecurity, integrity, intuition, intention, imperfections, etc., etc., as well as their opposites.  I feel knocked back and forth between feeling secure in a decision and commitment and an hour later, tripped up and betraying my commitment to myself.   The image I get is of being thrown from one side of a box (keeping in mind that my work for this moon cycle takes me out of my comfort zone, my safe box) to the other and then into another corner, unrelentingly.  Maybe that is one way to break out of the box!  This leaves me feeling a little bruised, and I fear I may be a little bruising toward those around me who are on this journey with me.  I'm a great example of Jung's individuation versus the divided self I referred to in yesterday's blog.

So, as I focus on my Creative Aspect, my Personal Aspect is also quite active, as is my Relationship Aspect.  And although it's a challenge to stay present and intentional, I do feel the support of the moon energy for this month.  I am in the middle of a harvest of myself.